Gaining Authority; Or: A Facial Experiment

As I had my canine teeth removed, my smile registers no fear in the subconscious. (If you argue that my faces nearly evokes fear in that it evokes the Burkean sublime, well then, I took Romanticism in college too.)

Anyhow, as my face then lacks any inherent authority, because I am a fucking chubster with buck teeth, I sought to gain it with the most distinguished of all physical aids: glasses. Okay, second to monocle or a cane made of fire or something. What I did was I made an expression and photographed myself both un- and be-spectacled.

Analysis below:

EXPRESSION A.


Confusion.


Discernment.


EXPRESSION B.


Panic.


Realisation.


EXPRESSION C.


Naiveté.


Valiance.


EXPRESSION D.


Itchy.


Relaxed.

In conclusion:

(1) To gain authority, I must ruin my eyesight so that I might rightly own a pair of glasses. I could get the fake ones, but I prefer not to pose. Bad form. I publicly wore fake glasses once and found myself accidentally intriguing a gentleman* who, out of nowhere, whispered to me sweet nothings regarding Thomas Pynchon's newest novel at the time. But just not into T.P. (Fake) glasses said "Bitch likes some pomo lit."

(2) I mean, everyone knows the above is true in regard to glasses, but I am on my own journey of realization and if someone re-pointed out the truth in da Bible, would you take issue with THE BIG GUY?

(3) I'm a lot like that Emotion Eric guy but much prettier.


* - I slept with him anyway.