Anyhow, as my face then lacks any inherent authority, because I am a fucking chubster with buck teeth, I sought to gain it with the most distinguished of all physical aids: glasses. Okay, second to monocle or a cane made of fire or something. What I did was I made an expression and photographed myself both un- and be-spectacled.
Analysis below:
EXPRESSION A.
Confusion.
Discernment.
EXPRESSION B.
Panic.
Realisation.
EXPRESSION C.
Naiveté.
Valiance.
EXPRESSION D.
Itchy.
Relaxed.
In conclusion:
(1) To gain authority, I must ruin my eyesight so that I might rightly own a pair of glasses. I could get the fake ones, but I prefer not to pose. Bad form. I publicly wore fake glasses once and found myself accidentally intriguing a gentleman* who, out of nowhere, whispered to me sweet nothings regarding Thomas Pynchon's newest novel at the time. But just not into T.P. (Fake) glasses said "Bitch likes some pomo lit."
(2) I mean, everyone knows the above is true in regard to glasses, but I am on my own journey of realization and if someone re-pointed out the truth in da Bible, would you take issue with THE BIG GUY?
(3) I'm a lot like that Emotion Eric guy but much prettier.
* - I slept with him anyway.
